Avatar (Extended)

Avatar 2: The Way Of Water is in the process of blowing the doors off your local cinemaplex, but before we revisit the world of Pandora lets all revisit the world of Pandora but in 2009. With huge advancements in motion capture, virtual environments and CGI Avatar remains the literal biggest movie of all time. And now we see whether or not we believe it holds up for us in our final Caravan Of Garbage review for the year. Thank you for all the support in 2022.

The Abyss (Extended)

We’re on the road to Avatar 2: The Way Of Water! And on that road there there were three movies from James Cameron’s filmography that made it happen, the first of which we’ll be looking at is The Abyss from 1989. Starring Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Michael Biehn among others it tells the harrowing tale of a civilian diving team, a rogue nuclear warhead and aliens of The Deep. I hope you like submarines because boy there’s a lot of them. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Batman: The Killing Joke (Extended)

We have come to an end of our Alan Moore-athon with one of the most misguided attempts at adaptation, Batman: The Killing Joke from 2016. Despite having the likes of Paul Dini, Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill lending their skills it falls flat in almost all ways. Animation, interpretation, additions, it’s bizarre. But luckily at (more…)

V For Vendetta (Extended)

The Alan Moore-athon trundles along with this weeks entry being 2005’s V For Vendetta. Unlike a lot of the other entries in this series this one is generally beloved. With Hugo Weaving as V along with Natalie Portman as Evie it deals with a fascist regime in England, a political uprising, issues of race, gender and sexuality, some fancy karate and of course Alan Moore hates it. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Extended)

2003 was very much like today in the sense that everybody was looking to adapt comic book properties into a huge movie franchise. So in continuing our Alan Moore-athon we’re taking a look at The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, or LXG if you would. In Sean Connery’s final live action role before retirement he leads (more…)

From Hell (Extended)

There is a long history of Alan Moore movie adaptation that he absolutely hates. So we’re going back to revisit all those we haven’t visited yet, starting with From Hell from 2001. Starring Johnny Depp, Heather Graham and Ian Holm it tells a fictionalized tale of notorious serial killer Jack The Ripper. And it’s pretty boring. That’s our hot take. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Bram Stokers Horny Dracula (Extended)

Hello. It’s the spookiest time of the year and I’m not just talking about tax time. And to celebrate this we’re revisiting a 1992 Francis Ford Coppola classic, Bram Stoker’s Dracula. With screen rattling performances from Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves it is somehow both a cult classic and a box office hit. And it’s also very horny. Thanks for watching!

The Scorpion King (Extended)

Before he was a big Egyptian morally ambiguous magical warrior man in Black Adam, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnsons was a big Egyptian morally ambiguous magical warrior man in The Scorpion King. After his live action movie debut and then being a big CGI scorpion person in The Mummy Returns Mathayus of Akkad (which is his name?) is back in a tale of epic-ish proportions! A tale so epic it got a series of it’s own spin-off movies which we will never review. But thanks for watching this one.

Man-Thing (Extended)

Recently the MCU saw the first live action appearance of Man-Thing in the Halloween special Werewolf By Night. Sorry I just forgot right now, there was a Marvel adaptation of Man-Thing that dates back to 2005 produced by Avi Arad who’s producing credits include Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Hulk, Blade and even Iron Man. Filmed entirely in Australian with a next to nothing budget it certainly is an odd duck of a film that was quickly swept under the rug. I will never forget though. And now you cannot either. Thanks for watching!

The Incredible Hulk (Extended)

Good news everyone. And by that I mean bad news.  There’s been some upload issues with the latest COG so instead I’ve uploaded the extended audio slightly early. Hopefully everything will be resolved soon and thanks for the support!

Hulk 2003 (Extended)

In 2003 Ang Lee made a valiant attempt at bringing the Hulk to life like we’d never seen before. With the casting of Eric Bana and groundbreaking CGI technology the Hulk was both bigger and greener than ever before. And at the end of the day it’s pretty weird but also good but also boring but also interesting. Probably other things also. Thanks for watching to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (Extended)

All journeys must come to an end. Some with a whimper. Some with a bang. Some do the cinematic equivalent of dragging the audience through broken glass in the third entry of a trilogy for two hours and twenty four minutes. Which coincidently is the runtime of The Battle Of The Five Armies which sees Bilbo, Gandalf and various Dwarfs/Elves go up against the forces of somebody over something. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Extended)

Nobody was happier than us when we heard the second Hobbit book was being made into a movie. JOKES. The result of splitting JRR Tolkien’s work into three movies lead us here to The Desolation Of Smaug, the middle and probably best chapter in the series. Here we see the return of Lord Of The Rings favorite Orlando Bloom’s Legolas as well as a genuinely great performance with Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended)

Caravan Of Garbage has returned to look at what is probably considered the second most disappointing prequel trilogy of all time. Director of The Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson reluctantly returns to the directors chair for 2013’s An Unexpected Journey, the first very long entry in an adaptation of a very short book. Come with us as we talk about the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf the Grey and twelve mostly interchangeable tiny bearded men. Thanks for listening to our review!

Aliens VS Predator: Requiem (Extended)

In our last Caravan Of Garbage until September we take a look at nobodies favorite Alien or Predator movie, or even Alien VS Predator movie, AVP Requiem. It’s certainly not without it’s moments (when you can see them) and brings into live action the idea of an Xenomorph/Yautja in the Predalien. Thanks for watching to (more…)

Alien VS Predator (Extended)

Alien VS Predator from 2004 promised to finally bring two of the biggest sci-fi horror franchises into the one universe. We were expecting gore, we were expecting lore, we were expecting a big underground ice pyramid or something and we certainly got some of those things in this middling adaptation of what had already become (more…)

Thor: The Dark World (Extended)

Thor: The Dark World was an inevitability, off the moderate success of the first film in 2011 and The Avengers in 2012 it made sense to reteam Chris Harmsworth’s God Of Thunder, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki and a reluctant Natalie Portman as Jane Foster. This time it’s Dark Elves! And multiple dimensions sort of! And a red swirling blood tornado! Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

Thor 2011 (Extended)

The concept of Thor always worked wonders within the pages of a Marvel comic or in Norse Mythology or in a 1988 Incredible Hulk telemovie but translating it to the big screen would prove to be a massive gamble. Directed by Kenneth Brannagh and released in 2011, Thor Just Thor managed to rope in a (more…)

Jurassic Park 3 (Extended)

Jurassic Park III marked the end of the franchise for well over a decade. But boy did it attempt to go out with a bang with the return of both Sam Neil as Alan Grant and Laura Dern briefly as Ellie Sattler. Despite missing some of the key elements that made the first movie great it does introduce us to a new villain, the Kirby family. Oh and the Spinosaurus. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (Extended)

How do you top the smash hit that was Jurassic Park 1993? The answer is not The Lost World from 1997. Despite Steven Spielberg bringing some new ideas to the table including a two T-Rex attack, raptor death via gymnastics and a Tyrannosaurus loose in the city it never quite hits the heights of the original. Still, they made it and we me this Caravan Of Garbage review. Thanks for listening!

Jurassic Park (Extended)

1993’s Jurassic Park was an incredible cinematic experience both for the time and now. Combining the best of old school monster movie making with cutting edge CGI and blending those elements with a compelling narrative and characters it’s considered one of Steven Spielberg’s best and also one of the great blockbusters of all time. Mason doesn’t really like it though. Anyways thanks for watching out Caravan Of Garbage review.

Green Lantern (Extended)

We finish up the DC Graveyard by taking a trip back to Sector 2814 in the year 2011. Yes we are talking about Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern. It had all the hallmarks of being a huge success. DC was riding high off the success of The Dark Knight, Martin Campbell the director behind reviving James Bond Twice plus a 200 million dollar budget. But it turns out it’s not very good or interesting or fun and it looks bad a lot of the time. Thanks for listening!

The Losers (Extended)

The Loser’s 2010 was known at the time for that movie that’s not The A-Team remake. Which isn’t the only reason it appears in this series covering the DC Graveyard the other reason is because it didn’t make enough money. That being said it’s far from the worst thing we’ve looked at as of so far. Thanks for watching!

Jonah Hex (Extended)

Jonah Hex isn’t very good. Despite an incredible cast it does absolutely nothing else right which makes it perfect for the DC Graveyard. Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender and John Malkovich could not save this from bombing both critically and commercially because…well yeah it’s just not very good or interesting or fun or anything. Thanks for watching!

Constantine (Extended)

The DC Graveyard trundles along with what some might consider a surprising entry. Constantine 2005 has developed somewhat of a cult following over the years with many hoping that Keanu Reeves would return to the role. However it didn’t do well enough to warrant any kind of follow up despite being a pretty solid supernatural superhero horror affair. Thanks for listening!

Catwoman (Extended)

We’re kicking off this new batch of Caravan Of Garbage which we’re going to refer to as the DC Graveyard. A failed batch of comic book properties that were set to kick of a franchise or at the very least a sequel that ended up bombing either critically, commercially or both. First up is Catwoman 2004 an abysmal effort despite the best efforts of one Halle Berry. How did this happen? Who’s the say. But it did and it’s extremely baffling scene to scene. Thanks for watching!

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II (Extended) (it’s finally over)

Well. This has been quite the ordeal. We’re finishing off all The Twilight Saga this week with Breaking Dawn Part II, a movie that’s the second half of a book that ends just suddenly after nothing much happens. But they’ve made some changes including a final battle that’s so out of left field you could be forgiven for thinking you’re having a stroke. So long Bella, Edward and Jacob, wherever you are I hope you’re all happy. Except for Jacob. He should be in jail for falling in love with a baby.

Twilight: Eclipse (Extended)

By this point we are all well into the Twilight Saga, this Twilight trailer can literally not be stopped. This week it’s time for the third entry Eclipse the entry in the series where the split between Jacob and Edward really begins. There’s also a startling revelation about vampire physiology, broken hearts, broken limbs, camping, wolves and child murder. Peak Twilight. Thanks for listening!

Batman Begins (Really) (Extended)

Due to what can only be described as an outstanding amount of requests, yes we are back to talk Batman Begins in preparation for all things The Batman. A startling reinvention of the superhero genre, this film managed to kick off a billion dollar franchise whilst bringing some much needed gravitas to the source material. Thanks for listening!

Batman Begins (Extended)

In preparation for The Batman which ushers in Robert Pattinson’s first appearance as Bruce Wayne we knew that it was time to return to the Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight trilogy. Christian Bale reinterprets the duel roles of Bruce Wayne and Batman like never before taking on the League Of Shadows in what was a huge turning point for DC Comic adaptations. Thanks for listening!

The Animatrix (Extended)

In 2003 the year of The Matrix we got sequels in both Reloaded and Revolutions. But in addition to that there was also a direct to DVD anthology series in The Animatrix. A series of high production animations that tell multiple stories within and around the Matrix including a prequel on how the human/machine war began, a direct lead in to Reloaded with Final Flight of the Osiris and more. Currently still canon it seems as if much of this will lead in to Resurrections. Thanks for watching!

Japanese Spider-Man (Extended)

In 1978 Marvel struck a deal with Japanese company the Toei Company licensing out their most popular characters. The result was Japanese Spider-Man (スパイダーマン) which was a huge success and ran for 41 episodes. However their were some changes including a mentor from the Planet Spider, Peter Parker being replaced with a motorcycle racer, along with Leopardon, a giant robot he uses to fight his greatest foe Doctor Monster. It’s a wild ride. Thanks for listening!

The Spider-Man Wars! (Extended!)

Before Spider-Man: No Way Home lands let’s take a look back at the original Spider-Verse story, the Spider-Wars saga from the 1994 animated series. Introducing Peter Parker into a team of alternate dimension Spider-Men in order to take on Spider-Carnage, the Green Goblin, Hob Goblin and Kingpin. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Daredevil Defends The Hulk (Extended)

The Incredible Hulk was the first attempt into bringing the Green Goliath into live action. Running from 1978 to 1982 it was revived again in a series of telemovies beginning with The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk which aimed to introduce the duel characters of Matt Murdoch and Daredevil and then have him spin-off into his own series. None of that happened but it did a lot of things right including John Rhys Davies as the Kingpin. Thanks for watching!

Iron Man: The Animated Series (Extended)

Iron Man The Animated Series that ran from 1994 to 1996 and acted as a way for the higher ups at Marvel to introduce the character of Tony Stark to kids in the form of a Saturday morning cartoon. Hoping to be the next Batman The Animated Series or X-Men it managed to be worse than both. This week we delve into two episodes, one from Season 1 and one for Season 2 both of which feature Hawkeye in the lead up to the Disney Plus series. It might help with SEO or something I’m honestly not sure. Thanks for watching!

Ghostbusters II (Extended)

Ghostbusters II brings back everything you loved about the original. The director, the cast including Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson and Slimer. There’s ghosts running amok, there’s a big thing stomping around New York but this times there’s an evil painting. Anyways it’s not as good or as funny. Thanks for listening!

The Amazing Spider-Man (Extended)

Off the success of the Sam Raimi & Tobey Maguire Spider-Man Trilogy it was time for a fresh new idea. So Sony decided to make the same Spider-Man movie again with The Amazing Spider-Man 2012. Well it’s a little bit different. With Andrew Garfield in the lead role and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey this time we see Marvel’s biggest character go up against The Lizard with only the Bing search engine, a Sony Vaio and a camera with his name printed on it. Thanks for supporting out Caravan Of Garbage review!

Spectre (Extended)

Spectre was intended as the swan song (like Madeline Swan :D) for the Daniel Craig era of James Bond. Acting as a way to tie together Casino Royale, Quantum Of Solace and Skyfall it also manages to reintroduce the criminal organization of Spectre along with classic villain Blofeld. Unfortunately it doesn’t all come together despite great action sequences, the biggest explosion in cinema history and that bit with the torture and the drills or whatever. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Skyfall (Extended)

Skyfall is considered by many to be the pinnacle of Daniel Craig James Bond era. Blending some of the grittiness and heavy hitting action of Casino Royale with bits and pieces from the James Bond of old with the inclusion of Q, gadgets and quips it strikes a great balance between both the new and old. But some people think it’s dumb and just The Dark Knight again. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Quantum of Solace (Extended)

Off the back of Casino Royal James Bond was very much back. And then immediately hit a speed bump with Quantum Of Solace in 2008 when the writers strike hit. Despite the return of Daniel Craig and action/espionage a plenty it failed to hit the heights of it’s predecessor BUT is it without it’s quality moments? Let’s all find out in our Caravan Of Garbage review. Thanks for the support!

Casino Royale (Extended)

After Die Another Day it was time for a reinvention of the James Bond franchise. The answer became in the form of the blonde haired blue eyed actor Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. Bringing the character yet again to the modern day it’s considered to be one of, if not the best film in the franchise with incredible action, drama, revenge and romance with the inclusion of Vesper Lynd. Plus parkour. But like…good. Thanks for supporting our Caravan Of Garbage review.

The Matrix Revolutions (Extended)

After the somewhat mixed reception of Reloaded at time of release the Matrix Trilogy concluded with Revolutions that same year. The idea was to wrap up the story of Neo, Trinity, Morpheus and Agent Smith in the most epic way possible! A mech battle with characters we didn’t recognize and a fight in the rain. It’s not all bad though, in fact, many consider it to be a worthy conclusion. Until The Matrix Resurrections that is. Thanks for watching to our Caravan Of Garbage review.

The Matrix Reloaded (Extended)

The Matrix Reloaded aimed to take everything that was great about the first and expand the world in new and exciting ways. With the return of Neo, Trinity, Morpheus and an every duplicating Agent Smith we get incredible new action scenes like the burley brawl and the highway chase plus a colouring cast of new characters. BUT. What does it all add up to? Does it even come close to the first? Somewhat I guess. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

The Matrix (Extended)

The Matrix acts as the invisible line between action movies of old and what we know today. It introduced the world to the characters of Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, other funny names etc in addition to the concept of bullet time, Hollywood actors looking like they can really fight, virtual worlds, flying metal squids, Hugo Weaving and more. I mean a lot of those things we’d seen before but who cares The Matrix aim I right? This is our Caravan Of Garbage review, thanks for the support!