The Rocketeer (Extended)

Big apologies this week, our Caravan Of Garbage on The Rocketeer is delayed due to illness.  And although it’s not the same as a video here’s the audio extended version.  Again, apologies for the delay.

Before Captain America: The First Avengers director Joe Johnston brought us The Rocketeer. Second in our series of pulpy/throwback comic back adaptations (that failed) this adaptation takes us back to the 1930s, an era with rocket powered heroes, thin mustachioed villains and swashbuckling action. Intended to kick off a new Indiana Jones styled adventure series it fell short of Disney’s expectations and is largely forgotten despite being quite a fun ride. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Dick Tracy (Extended)

For this next series of Caravan Of Garbage reviews we’re taking a look at a five classic comic book propeties that were adapted into underperforming or underwhelming movies. This week we’re kicking things off with 1990’s Dick Tracey. Directed by and starring Warren Beatty it takes the pulp detective and pits him in a bizarre (more…)

RoboCop 2014 (Extended)

In 2014 the most powerful people on earth (Hollywood) decided to bless us all with a reboot of the original RoboCop. Taking some cues for the 1987 classic it brought Joel Kinnaman into the title role of Alex Murphy in a effort to again revamp the classic series. With a stellar cast including Michael Keaton, Michael K Williams, Jack Earl Haley, Abbie Cornish, Sam Jackson it certainly tries some things but ultimately comes out feeling rather toothless. Thanks for watching along as we reviewed all of the RoboCop movies!

RoboCop 3 (Extended)

By RoboCop 3 the good people at Orion knew what kind of audience the franchise solely appealed to, children. This obviously wasn’t true but for this final entry in the original RoboCop saga things take a PG turn with toned down violence, satire and the disappearance of Peter Weller for Robert John Burke. Sure he has a jet pack and a flame thrower now and there’s a Japanese Cyborg ninja but none of it really comes together. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

RoboCop 2 (Extended)

RoboCop 2 was inevitable after the success of the original. And you know what? It could have been much worse. With a more competent cyborg enemy, some solid comedic moments and Peter Weller being at the top of his game in terms of RoboCop sequels this remains the best case scenario despite some obvious shortcomings. Thanks for watching!

Robocop 1987 (Extended)

The original RoboCop from 1987 is incredible. Directed by Paul Verhoeven and starring Peter Weller as the titular RoboCop/Alex Murphy it remains one of the best sci-fi films of all time. With its retro futuristic, satirical and hyper-violent aesthetic it truly is a one of a kind experience that will never be replicated. Despite RoboCop 2, RoboCop 3, the 2014 reboot, the two tv series, multiple games and upcoming legacy sequel. Thanks for watching!

Star Wars: Rebels Finale (Extended)

Grand Admiral Thrawn will make his live action debut in Ashoka play again by Lars Mikkelsen. So in preparation for that we revisit the two part finale of Star Wars: Rebels Family Reunion and Farewell. Setting the scene with space whales, the disappearance of Ezra Bridger and Thrawn, Captain Rex on the Endor strike force and a time travel tree this series is considered some of the best Star Wars ever created. Thanks for watching!

Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (Extended)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 turned out to be the biggest box office hit from the length of the franchise so naturally the green light was given to it’s 2016 sequel. This time we get all the things kids loved from the 1987 series, Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady, the Technodrome, Casey Jones and more! But it didn’t land in the same way as the first. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles (Extended)

In 2014 off the success of the Transformers franchise, Paramount and Nickelodeon decided to give him a shot at (producing) a brand new set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. This time adopting motion capture technology which allowed them to pay the actors next to nothing along with Megan Fox as April O’Neil this adventure is like nothing you’ve seen before! But really it’s a lot of the stuff you’ve seen before. Thanks for watching!

Masters of the Universe (Extended)

The Barbie movie could very well herald in a new era of toys to movie adaptations. But it is far from Mattel’s first attempt as there first swing was 1987’s Masters Of The Universe featuring Dolph Lundgren as the titular He-Man. Opening with Skeletor now in possession of Castle Grayskull things have never looked worse for Eternia which is the perfect time He-Man and friends to take a trip to New Jersey. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Mission Impossible: Fallout (Extended)

Ever seen a man reload his arms before? Well if you’ve seen Mission Impossible: Fallout from 2018 then you absolutely have. Considered by many to be the pinacle of the Mission Impossible series it sees Solomon Lane’s villainous return along newcomer Henry Cavill. This one has it all but in a way that elevates the stunts, the masks, the fistfights, the rockclimbing. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Extended)

A Rogue Nation? Seems irresponsible but alright. This time around as we continue on through the Mission Impossible saga Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt must do another big stunt, this time strapped to the side of a plane, and butt heads with a super secret evil spy force lead up by Sean Harris’ Solomon Lane. With newcomer Rebecca Ferguson joining the crew there’s a lot to like in this fifth entry which somehow isn’t getting worse. How? Magic I guess who knows. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Extended)

Mission Impossible 4, the one where Tom Cruise climbs the building, is where things really kicked off in the long running franchise. Big stunts for real is now the name of the game along with new comers Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton and returning characters of Simon Peggs Benji and sort of Ving Rhames Luther. This movie has it all, masks, sandstorms, the Kremlin exploded, holographic hallways, an okay villian, the whole package. Thanks for watching out Caravan Of Garbage review!

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (Extended)

It’s the end of the road. We’ve reached peak Indiana Jones in the 2008 sequel, coming 19 years after the last in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Harrison Ford is back older and wiser to rekindle his love with Marion, build a relationship with his awful son Mutt and find a glass skull or whatever. Look it might not be the best but it certainly has a lot of stuff in it. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade (Extended)

We made it! The final movie before we can finally get to the good stuff. The Last Crusade goes deep into Indiana Jones lore with the adventure being shared with Henry Jones Senior played by Sean Connery. With the return of the Nazi’s, a magicial religious artifact, booby traps, an origin action sequence and tanks this one has it all. It’s a great lead in to the fourth entry. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom (Extended)

We continue our look at the Indiana Jones film series with the second installment, the prequel Temple Of Doom. A meaner, screamier and more culturally insensitive movie that introduces audiences to Ke Huy Quan’s Short Round and Kate Capshaw’s Willie Scott. Filled with heart pulling, brain eating, bridge cutting madness this entry managed to also herald in the PG-13 film. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review

Indiana Jones & The Raiders Of The Lost Ark (Extended)

Harrison Ford began his journey as Indiana Jones in the Steven Speilberg directed George Lucas written hit Raiders of the Lost Ark. Acting as a throwback to the adventure serials from decades earlier it introduced a nazi punching swashbuckling grave robber/archeologist which became an immediate smash hit. So on the road to Dial Of Destiny in 2023 lets take a look back at the four equally beloved Indiana Jones movie in this Caravan Of Garbage series review.

Transformers: The Movie (Extended)

The Transformers: The Movie attempted to do the impossible. Take a children’s cartoon about alienrobots changing into cars and planes and a gun and make a commercially viable mainstream movie where they kill most of the characters kids loved including Optimus Prime. It didn’t work nobody saw it. But the legacy lives on because so (more…)

Furious 7 (Extended)

It’s been a long day without you, my friend and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. Which is to say that we’ve come to the end of of this part of our journey through the Fast Saga, wrapping things up with Furious 7. Delayed a year to be rewritten around the death of Paul Walker some would argue this was the last time the franchise was truly great. Which might be true it’s hard to know a lot of these blur together. Anyways, thanks for watching these videos and in particular this Caravan Of Garbage review

Fast & Furious 6 (Extended)

We’re in the era of Fast & Furious where the movies are good and people seem to like them in general. And bang in the middle of that is the movie Fast & Furious 6 which introduces for the first but not last time an evil team of supercar people. Lead by Owen Shaw and culminating in the “death” of multiple main characters including Han and Giselle. Anyways thanks for watching and here’s out Caravan Of Garbage review.

Fast 5 (Extended)

Finally. We’ve reached the good one. A moment in time when the Fast & Furious franchise truly took off with an action packed, high stakes, rip roaring heist movie with returning actors Paul Walker and Vin Diesel plus the introduction of The Rocks character Hobbs or Shaw I can’t remember. Terrific stuff all round. Well done everyone. Thanks for checking out our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Fast & Furious (Extended)

The Fast & Furious 4 or what was simply titled Fast & Furious was an attempt to bring the franchise back to what made the original a success, two guys being mates. But not just any two guys, for the first time since 2001 Vin Diesels Dominic Torreto and Paul Walkers Brian O’Conner are back in the drivers seat to delieve a very okay sequel. Things certainly do improve with number five but to get there we gotta go through this. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Batman & Robin (Extended)

Batman Forever set the wheels in motion for a brand new kind of Batman. Camp. With George Clooney taking over from Val Kilmer who took over from Michael Keaton this is where people truly fell out of love with the Batman franchise. Even the likes of Batgirl, Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bane didn’t stop people crying about new levels of sillyness that left the reviews and box office lower than ever. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review.

Batman Forever (Extended)

Tim Burton’s Batman Returns ended up being not the creative direction (box office return) that Warner Brothers wanted. So in response to that we got a pretty significant tone shift for the next entry, Batman Forever directed by Joel Schumacher and now starring Val Kilmer as Bruce Wayne. And it worked! Financially. Thanks for checking (more…)

The Wizard & Super Mario Bros. (Extended)

Nintendo has a very strange relationship with the adaptation of it’s properties into film. Before the release of Super Mario Bros. in 1993 and even longer before The Super Marios Bros. Movie in 2023 the closest thing we got to on screen reputation was The Wizard. Basically serving as a promotion tool for the upcoming Super Marios Bros. 3 along with other Nintendo licensed products like the Power Glove, the Nintendo hotline, Zelda, Ninja Gaiden, Mega Man, Contra, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and more it certainly is a weird and roundabout way to promote something. Thanks for listening!

Pixels (Extended)

With the release of The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2023 we’ve taken the time to go back and revisit an absolute classic of the video game movie genre, Pixels from 2015. Despite having a stellar comedic cast, an excellent director and an intriguing premise it turned into the movie Pixels from 2015 which is unfortunate. Regardless, thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Dungeons & Dragons (Extended)

The first shot at a Dungeons & Dragons movie was not the 2023 entry Honor Amongst Thieves starring one Chris Pine. Unfortunately. There is in fact an earlier attempt from the year 2000 that takes aim at reinvention the fantasy genre by bringing to the big screen all the elements people know and love from D & D. Quests. Magic. Elves. A big porridge rug. The second Jimmy Olsen from Lois and Clark. It’s not very good however despite getting two sequels. Direct to DVD. But still. Thanks for listening!

Supergirl 1984 (Extended)

But before Sasha Calle and even Laura Vandervoort from Smallville and Melissa Benoist in the Arrowverse there was the 1984 movie. Set in the Christopher Reeve Superman universe it sees Helen Slater take on the role in a truly bizarre adventure which is entirely divorced from reality and logic. Is it good? No. Is it (more…)

The Flash 1990 (Extended)

In the lead up to The Flash 2023 a movie that is probably coming out we’re taking a look back at three properties that tie directly (or indirectly) to the characters of The Flash, Supergirl and Batman. To kick things off we’ll be looking at the very much ahead of its time Flash series from (more…)

Shrek Forever After (Extended)

Shrek Forever After acts as the final chapter in the Shrek Franchise. Except for Puss In boots 2011. Then Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. And a bunch of animated specials. ANYWAYS this time around Shrek decides to shatter all space and time in order to spend one day kid free which is weird because (more…)

Shrek The Third (Extended)

Shrek The Third. BOO. I mean what a drop in quality. Despite returning to this delightfully weird universe and revisting the characters of Shrek, Donkey, Princess Fiona and Puss In Boots it feels like a big dull retread of two better movies. Plus the new elements including Justin Timberlake and Eric Idle as King Arthur and Merlin feel hollow and wasted. Anyways this is our Caravan Of Garbage review and we don’t like this movie. Thanks for watching!

Shrek 2 (Extended)

Shrek 2 takes everything that was successful about the first film in the franchise and attempted to expand out the characters, world and magical lore. With new characters like Puss In Boots, The Fairy Godmother, Prince Charming plus the Kingdom of Far Far Away it established Shrek as the biggest 3D animated franchise. Here in our Caravan Of Garbage review we get right into whether it still holds up nearly 20 years later. Thanks for watching!

Shrek (Extended)

Welcome back to the very first Caravan Of Garbage of 2023! Due to big requests all the time we’re finally going to be covering the Shrek franchise, starting of with the 2001 surprise hit. Introducing the characters of Shrek, Donkey, Fiona, Lord Farquaad and a big dragon voiced by Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz we take a look at this timeless/very dated classic in what many will consider to be the definitive movie review. Thanks for watching!

Avatar (Extended)

Avatar 2: The Way Of Water is in the process of blowing the doors off your local cinemaplex, but before we revisit the world of Pandora lets all revisit the world of Pandora but in 2009. With huge advancements in motion capture, virtual environments and CGI Avatar remains the literal biggest movie of all time. And now we see whether or not we believe it holds up for us in our final Caravan Of Garbage review for the year. Thank you for all the support in 2022.

The Abyss (Extended)

We’re on the road to Avatar 2: The Way Of Water! And on that road there there were three movies from James Cameron’s filmography that made it happen, the first of which we’ll be looking at is The Abyss from 1989. Starring Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Michael Biehn among others it tells the harrowing tale of a civilian diving team, a rogue nuclear warhead and aliens of The Deep. I hope you like submarines because boy there’s a lot of them. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Batman: The Killing Joke (Extended)

We have come to an end of our Alan Moore-athon with one of the most misguided attempts at adaptation, Batman: The Killing Joke from 2016. Despite having the likes of Paul Dini, Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill lending their skills it falls flat in almost all ways. Animation, interpretation, additions, it’s bizarre. But luckily at (more…)

V For Vendetta (Extended)

The Alan Moore-athon trundles along with this weeks entry being 2005’s V For Vendetta. Unlike a lot of the other entries in this series this one is generally beloved. With Hugo Weaving as V along with Natalie Portman as Evie it deals with a fascist regime in England, a political uprising, issues of race, gender and sexuality, some fancy karate and of course Alan Moore hates it. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Extended)

2003 was very much like today in the sense that everybody was looking to adapt comic book properties into a huge movie franchise. So in continuing our Alan Moore-athon we’re taking a look at The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, or LXG if you would. In Sean Connery’s final live action role before retirement he leads (more…)

From Hell (Extended)

There is a long history of Alan Moore movie adaptation that he absolutely hates. So we’re going back to revisit all those we haven’t visited yet, starting with From Hell from 2001. Starring Johnny Depp, Heather Graham and Ian Holm it tells a fictionalized tale of notorious serial killer Jack The Ripper. And it’s pretty boring. That’s our hot take. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Bram Stokers Horny Dracula (Extended)

Hello. It’s the spookiest time of the year and I’m not just talking about tax time. And to celebrate this we’re revisiting a 1992 Francis Ford Coppola classic, Bram Stoker’s Dracula. With screen rattling performances from Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves it is somehow both a cult classic and a box office hit. And it’s also very horny. Thanks for watching!

The Scorpion King (Extended)

Before he was a big Egyptian morally ambiguous magical warrior man in Black Adam, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnsons was a big Egyptian morally ambiguous magical warrior man in The Scorpion King. After his live action movie debut and then being a big CGI scorpion person in The Mummy Returns Mathayus of Akkad (which is his name?) is back in a tale of epic-ish proportions! A tale so epic it got a series of it’s own spin-off movies which we will never review. But thanks for watching this one.

Man-Thing (Extended)

Recently the MCU saw the first live action appearance of Man-Thing in the Halloween special Werewolf By Night. Sorry I just forgot right now, there was a Marvel adaptation of Man-Thing that dates back to 2005 produced by Avi Arad who’s producing credits include Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Hulk, Blade and even Iron Man. Filmed entirely in Australian with a next to nothing budget it certainly is an odd duck of a film that was quickly swept under the rug. I will never forget though. And now you cannot either. Thanks for watching!

The Incredible Hulk (Extended)

Good news everyone. And by that I mean bad news.  There’s been some upload issues with the latest COG so instead I’ve uploaded the extended audio slightly early. Hopefully everything will be resolved soon and thanks for the support!

Hulk 2003 (Extended)

In 2003 Ang Lee made a valiant attempt at bringing the Hulk to life like we’d never seen before. With the casting of Eric Bana and groundbreaking CGI technology the Hulk was both bigger and greener than ever before. And at the end of the day it’s pretty weird but also good but also boring but also interesting. Probably other things also. Thanks for watching to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (Extended)

All journeys must come to an end. Some with a whimper. Some with a bang. Some do the cinematic equivalent of dragging the audience through broken glass in the third entry of a trilogy for two hours and twenty four minutes. Which coincidently is the runtime of The Battle Of The Five Armies which sees Bilbo, Gandalf and various Dwarfs/Elves go up against the forces of somebody over something. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Extended)

Nobody was happier than us when we heard the second Hobbit book was being made into a movie. JOKES. The result of splitting JRR Tolkien’s work into three movies lead us here to The Desolation Of Smaug, the middle and probably best chapter in the series. Here we see the return of Lord Of The Rings favorite Orlando Bloom’s Legolas as well as a genuinely great performance with Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended)

Caravan Of Garbage has returned to look at what is probably considered the second most disappointing prequel trilogy of all time. Director of The Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson reluctantly returns to the directors chair for 2013’s An Unexpected Journey, the first very long entry in an adaptation of a very short book. Come with us as we talk about the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf the Grey and twelve mostly interchangeable tiny bearded men. Thanks for listening to our review!

Aliens VS Predator: Requiem (Extended)

In our last Caravan Of Garbage until September we take a look at nobodies favorite Alien or Predator movie, or even Alien VS Predator movie, AVP Requiem. It’s certainly not without it’s moments (when you can see them) and brings into live action the idea of an Xenomorph/Yautja in the Predalien. Thanks for watching to (more…)