Transformers: The Movie (Extended)

The Transformers: The Movie attempted to do the impossible. Take a children’s cartoon about alienrobots changing into cars and planes and a gun and make a commercially viable mainstream movie where they kill most of the characters kids loved including Optimus Prime. It didn’t work nobody saw it. But the legacy lives on because so (more…)

Furious 7 (Extended)

It’s been a long day without you, my friend and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. Which is to say that we’ve come to the end of of this part of our journey through the Fast Saga, wrapping things up with Furious 7. Delayed a year to be rewritten around the death of Paul Walker some would argue this was the last time the franchise was truly great. Which might be true it’s hard to know a lot of these blur together. Anyways, thanks for watching these videos and in particular this Caravan Of Garbage review

Fast & Furious 6 (Extended)

We’re in the era of Fast & Furious where the movies are good and people seem to like them in general. And bang in the middle of that is the movie Fast & Furious 6 which introduces for the first but not last time an evil team of supercar people. Lead by Owen Shaw and culminating in the “death” of multiple main characters including Han and Giselle. Anyways thanks for watching and here’s out Caravan Of Garbage review.

Fast 5 (Extended)

Finally. We’ve reached the good one. A moment in time when the Fast & Furious franchise truly took off with an action packed, high stakes, rip roaring heist movie with returning actors Paul Walker and Vin Diesel plus the introduction of The Rocks character Hobbs or Shaw I can’t remember. Terrific stuff all round. Well done everyone. Thanks for checking out our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Fast & Furious (Extended)

The Fast & Furious 4 or what was simply titled Fast & Furious was an attempt to bring the franchise back to what made the original a success, two guys being mates. But not just any two guys, for the first time since 2001 Vin Diesels Dominic Torreto and Paul Walkers Brian O’Conner are back in the drivers seat to delieve a very okay sequel. Things certainly do improve with number five but to get there we gotta go through this. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Batman & Robin (Extended)

Batman Forever set the wheels in motion for a brand new kind of Batman. Camp. With George Clooney taking over from Val Kilmer who took over from Michael Keaton this is where people truly fell out of love with the Batman franchise. Even the likes of Batgirl, Mr Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bane didn’t stop people crying about new levels of sillyness that left the reviews and box office lower than ever. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review.

Batman Forever (Extended)

Tim Burton’s Batman Returns ended up being not the creative direction (box office return) that Warner Brothers wanted. So in response to that we got a pretty significant tone shift for the next entry, Batman Forever directed by Joel Schumacher and now starring Val Kilmer as Bruce Wayne. And it worked! Financially. Thanks for checking (more…)

The Wizard & Super Mario Bros. (Extended)

Nintendo has a very strange relationship with the adaptation of it’s properties into film. Before the release of Super Mario Bros. in 1993 and even longer before The Super Marios Bros. Movie in 2023 the closest thing we got to on screen reputation was The Wizard. Basically serving as a promotion tool for the upcoming Super Marios Bros. 3 along with other Nintendo licensed products like the Power Glove, the Nintendo hotline, Zelda, Ninja Gaiden, Mega Man, Contra, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and more it certainly is a weird and roundabout way to promote something. Thanks for listening!

Pixels (Extended)

With the release of The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2023 we’ve taken the time to go back and revisit an absolute classic of the video game movie genre, Pixels from 2015. Despite having a stellar comedic cast, an excellent director and an intriguing premise it turned into the movie Pixels from 2015 which is unfortunate. Regardless, thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Dungeons & Dragons (Extended)

The first shot at a Dungeons & Dragons movie was not the 2023 entry Honor Amongst Thieves starring one Chris Pine. Unfortunately. There is in fact an earlier attempt from the year 2000 that takes aim at reinvention the fantasy genre by bringing to the big screen all the elements people know and love from D & D. Quests. Magic. Elves. A big porridge rug. The second Jimmy Olsen from Lois and Clark. It’s not very good however despite getting two sequels. Direct to DVD. But still. Thanks for listening!

Supergirl 1984 (Extended)

But before Sasha Calle and even Laura Vandervoort from Smallville and Melissa Benoist in the Arrowverse there was the 1984 movie. Set in the Christopher Reeve Superman universe it sees Helen Slater take on the role in a truly bizarre adventure which is entirely divorced from reality and logic. Is it good? No. Is it (more…)

The Flash 1990 (Extended)

In the lead up to The Flash 2023 a movie that is probably coming out we’re taking a look back at three properties that tie directly (or indirectly) to the characters of The Flash, Supergirl and Batman. To kick things off we’ll be looking at the very much ahead of its time Flash series from (more…)

Shrek Forever After (Extended)

Shrek Forever After acts as the final chapter in the Shrek Franchise. Except for Puss In boots 2011. Then Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. And a bunch of animated specials. ANYWAYS this time around Shrek decides to shatter all space and time in order to spend one day kid free which is weird because (more…)

Shrek The Third (Extended)

Shrek The Third. BOO. I mean what a drop in quality. Despite returning to this delightfully weird universe and revisting the characters of Shrek, Donkey, Princess Fiona and Puss In Boots it feels like a big dull retread of two better movies. Plus the new elements including Justin Timberlake and Eric Idle as King Arthur and Merlin feel hollow and wasted. Anyways this is our Caravan Of Garbage review and we don’t like this movie. Thanks for watching!

Shrek 2 (Extended)

Shrek 2 takes everything that was successful about the first film in the franchise and attempted to expand out the characters, world and magical lore. With new characters like Puss In Boots, The Fairy Godmother, Prince Charming plus the Kingdom of Far Far Away it established Shrek as the biggest 3D animated franchise. Here in our Caravan Of Garbage review we get right into whether it still holds up nearly 20 years later. Thanks for watching!

Shrek (Extended)

Welcome back to the very first Caravan Of Garbage of 2023! Due to big requests all the time we’re finally going to be covering the Shrek franchise, starting of with the 2001 surprise hit. Introducing the characters of Shrek, Donkey, Fiona, Lord Farquaad and a big dragon voiced by Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz we take a look at this timeless/very dated classic in what many will consider to be the definitive movie review. Thanks for watching!

Avatar (Extended)

Avatar 2: The Way Of Water is in the process of blowing the doors off your local cinemaplex, but before we revisit the world of Pandora lets all revisit the world of Pandora but in 2009. With huge advancements in motion capture, virtual environments and CGI Avatar remains the literal biggest movie of all time. And now we see whether or not we believe it holds up for us in our final Caravan Of Garbage review for the year. Thank you for all the support in 2022.

The Abyss (Extended)

We’re on the road to Avatar 2: The Way Of Water! And on that road there there were three movies from James Cameron’s filmography that made it happen, the first of which we’ll be looking at is The Abyss from 1989. Starring Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Michael Biehn among others it tells the harrowing tale of a civilian diving team, a rogue nuclear warhead and aliens of The Deep. I hope you like submarines because boy there’s a lot of them. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Batman: The Killing Joke (Extended)

We have come to an end of our Alan Moore-athon with one of the most misguided attempts at adaptation, Batman: The Killing Joke from 2016. Despite having the likes of Paul Dini, Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill lending their skills it falls flat in almost all ways. Animation, interpretation, additions, it’s bizarre. But luckily at (more…)

V For Vendetta (Extended)

The Alan Moore-athon trundles along with this weeks entry being 2005’s V For Vendetta. Unlike a lot of the other entries in this series this one is generally beloved. With Hugo Weaving as V along with Natalie Portman as Evie it deals with a fascist regime in England, a political uprising, issues of race, gender and sexuality, some fancy karate and of course Alan Moore hates it. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Extended)

2003 was very much like today in the sense that everybody was looking to adapt comic book properties into a huge movie franchise. So in continuing our Alan Moore-athon we’re taking a look at The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, or LXG if you would. In Sean Connery’s final live action role before retirement he leads (more…)

From Hell (Extended)

There is a long history of Alan Moore movie adaptation that he absolutely hates. So we’re going back to revisit all those we haven’t visited yet, starting with From Hell from 2001. Starring Johnny Depp, Heather Graham and Ian Holm it tells a fictionalized tale of notorious serial killer Jack The Ripper. And it’s pretty boring. That’s our hot take. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

Bram Stokers Horny Dracula (Extended)

Hello. It’s the spookiest time of the year and I’m not just talking about tax time. And to celebrate this we’re revisiting a 1992 Francis Ford Coppola classic, Bram Stoker’s Dracula. With screen rattling performances from Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves it is somehow both a cult classic and a box office hit. And it’s also very horny. Thanks for watching!

The Scorpion King (Extended)

Before he was a big Egyptian morally ambiguous magical warrior man in Black Adam, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnsons was a big Egyptian morally ambiguous magical warrior man in The Scorpion King. After his live action movie debut and then being a big CGI scorpion person in The Mummy Returns Mathayus of Akkad (which is his name?) is back in a tale of epic-ish proportions! A tale so epic it got a series of it’s own spin-off movies which we will never review. But thanks for watching this one.

Man-Thing (Extended)

Recently the MCU saw the first live action appearance of Man-Thing in the Halloween special Werewolf By Night. Sorry I just forgot right now, there was a Marvel adaptation of Man-Thing that dates back to 2005 produced by Avi Arad who’s producing credits include Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Hulk, Blade and even Iron Man. Filmed entirely in Australian with a next to nothing budget it certainly is an odd duck of a film that was quickly swept under the rug. I will never forget though. And now you cannot either. Thanks for watching!

The Incredible Hulk (Extended)

Good news everyone. And by that I mean bad news.  There’s been some upload issues with the latest COG so instead I’ve uploaded the extended audio slightly early. Hopefully everything will be resolved soon and thanks for the support!

Hulk 2003 (Extended)

In 2003 Ang Lee made a valiant attempt at bringing the Hulk to life like we’d never seen before. With the casting of Eric Bana and groundbreaking CGI technology the Hulk was both bigger and greener than ever before. And at the end of the day it’s pretty weird but also good but also boring but also interesting. Probably other things also. Thanks for watching to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies (Extended)

All journeys must come to an end. Some with a whimper. Some with a bang. Some do the cinematic equivalent of dragging the audience through broken glass in the third entry of a trilogy for two hours and twenty four minutes. Which coincidently is the runtime of The Battle Of The Five Armies which sees Bilbo, Gandalf and various Dwarfs/Elves go up against the forces of somebody over something. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Extended)

Nobody was happier than us when we heard the second Hobbit book was being made into a movie. JOKES. The result of splitting JRR Tolkien’s work into three movies lead us here to The Desolation Of Smaug, the middle and probably best chapter in the series. Here we see the return of Lord Of The Rings favorite Orlando Bloom’s Legolas as well as a genuinely great performance with Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended)

Caravan Of Garbage has returned to look at what is probably considered the second most disappointing prequel trilogy of all time. Director of The Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson reluctantly returns to the directors chair for 2013’s An Unexpected Journey, the first very long entry in an adaptation of a very short book. Come with us as we talk about the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf the Grey and twelve mostly interchangeable tiny bearded men. Thanks for listening to our review!

Aliens VS Predator: Requiem (Extended)

In our last Caravan Of Garbage until September we take a look at nobodies favorite Alien or Predator movie, or even Alien VS Predator movie, AVP Requiem. It’s certainly not without it’s moments (when you can see them) and brings into live action the idea of an Xenomorph/Yautja in the Predalien. Thanks for watching to (more…)

Alien VS Predator (Extended)

Alien VS Predator from 2004 promised to finally bring two of the biggest sci-fi horror franchises into the one universe. We were expecting gore, we were expecting lore, we were expecting a big underground ice pyramid or something and we certainly got some of those things in this middling adaptation of what had already become (more…)

Thor: The Dark World (Extended)

Thor: The Dark World was an inevitability, off the moderate success of the first film in 2011 and The Avengers in 2012 it made sense to reteam Chris Harmsworth’s God Of Thunder, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki and a reluctant Natalie Portman as Jane Foster. This time it’s Dark Elves! And multiple dimensions sort of! And a red swirling blood tornado! Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review.

Thor 2011 (Extended)

The concept of Thor always worked wonders within the pages of a Marvel comic or in Norse Mythology or in a 1988 Incredible Hulk telemovie but translating it to the big screen would prove to be a massive gamble. Directed by Kenneth Brannagh and released in 2011, Thor Just Thor managed to rope in a (more…)

Jurassic Park 3 (Extended)

Jurassic Park III marked the end of the franchise for well over a decade. But boy did it attempt to go out with a bang with the return of both Sam Neil as Alan Grant and Laura Dern briefly as Ellie Sattler. Despite missing some of the key elements that made the first movie great it does introduce us to a new villain, the Kirby family. Oh and the Spinosaurus. Thanks for listening to our Caravan Of Garbage review!

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (Extended)

How do you top the smash hit that was Jurassic Park 1993? The answer is not The Lost World from 1997. Despite Steven Spielberg bringing some new ideas to the table including a two T-Rex attack, raptor death via gymnastics and a Tyrannosaurus loose in the city it never quite hits the heights of the original. Still, they made it and we me this Caravan Of Garbage review. Thanks for listening!

Jurassic Park (Extended)

1993’s Jurassic Park was an incredible cinematic experience both for the time and now. Combining the best of old school monster movie making with cutting edge CGI and blending those elements with a compelling narrative and characters it’s considered one of Steven Spielberg’s best and also one of the great blockbusters of all time. Mason doesn’t really like it though. Anyways thanks for watching out Caravan Of Garbage review.

Green Lantern (Extended)

We finish up the DC Graveyard by taking a trip back to Sector 2814 in the year 2011. Yes we are talking about Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern. It had all the hallmarks of being a huge success. DC was riding high off the success of The Dark Knight, Martin Campbell the director behind reviving James Bond Twice plus a 200 million dollar budget. But it turns out it’s not very good or interesting or fun and it looks bad a lot of the time. Thanks for listening!

The Losers (Extended)

The Loser’s 2010 was known at the time for that movie that’s not The A-Team remake. Which isn’t the only reason it appears in this series covering the DC Graveyard the other reason is because it didn’t make enough money. That being said it’s far from the worst thing we’ve looked at as of so far. Thanks for watching!

Jonah Hex (Extended)

Jonah Hex isn’t very good. Despite an incredible cast it does absolutely nothing else right which makes it perfect for the DC Graveyard. Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender and John Malkovich could not save this from bombing both critically and commercially because…well yeah it’s just not very good or interesting or fun or anything. Thanks for watching!

Constantine (Extended)

The DC Graveyard trundles along with what some might consider a surprising entry. Constantine 2005 has developed somewhat of a cult following over the years with many hoping that Keanu Reeves would return to the role. However it didn’t do well enough to warrant any kind of follow up despite being a pretty solid supernatural superhero horror affair. Thanks for listening!

Catwoman (Extended)

We’re kicking off this new batch of Caravan Of Garbage which we’re going to refer to as the DC Graveyard. A failed batch of comic book properties that were set to kick of a franchise or at the very least a sequel that ended up bombing either critically, commercially or both. First up is Catwoman 2004 an abysmal effort despite the best efforts of one Halle Berry. How did this happen? Who’s the say. But it did and it’s extremely baffling scene to scene. Thanks for watching!

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II (Extended) (it’s finally over)

Well. This has been quite the ordeal. We’re finishing off all The Twilight Saga this week with Breaking Dawn Part II, a movie that’s the second half of a book that ends just suddenly after nothing much happens. But they’ve made some changes including a final battle that’s so out of left field you could be forgiven for thinking you’re having a stroke. So long Bella, Edward and Jacob, wherever you are I hope you’re all happy. Except for Jacob. He should be in jail for falling in love with a baby.